The treadmill is a funny thing. Its the first choice of exercise when I enter the gym. I don't know what is it about it, but maybe because I always felt it does half the work for you. Its good to get a push at the start of the day. Maybe a reward for getting up and making it to the gym. Once you are there its not difficult. In fact, working out is like a drug. Its addictive. It gives you a feeling that you are moving ahead, going strong and every day you need more, you do more. Also funny is the fact that when I look around me, everyone is walking, jogging and sprinting on the treadmill with so much determination and sense of purpose, you can see it on their face; me included. Its as though we are all going to reach somewhere, a place even beyond Elysium. But our plan fails. The timer runs out and we are still here. The treadmill fails to take us to promised lands.
I have broken into a sweat and that's what I came here for. That's the drug. It washes out all that you did, didn't or wanted to do yesterday. That's what I like about physical exercise, its like a mental reset for the brain. So I continue on and on, in search of more sweat. I see rorschach designs on everybody's T-shirts that the sweat makes. Its probably the darkness inside everyone coming out. But I am more interested in mine. That's how I clock my time in the gym. At some point when you are soldiering on, you have reached critical mass and the sweat doesn't stop. At that point how much ever you wipe off the sweat your gym towel feels useless; that's when YOU start feeling useful. ( A note to a friend here, avid blogger and gymmer(?) who recently had a whole post dedicated to his gym towel, I feel your sentiment bro. Also before you comment, no pegs were used in the writing of this post :) )
After a while, the rorschach on my shirt has disappeared in a monolith of sweat. That's my cue. The heart is beating hard. Sweating hard, the rush. That's when I feel I have given a small quantum of mass and energy back to the universe and in that instant I enjoy a quantum of solace. Today's salvation is the five steps I take from inside the gym as I walk out the door. Because outside it, the day is waiting. We will all take it on, failing and succeeding and in the process gathering some self-doubt and some hubris, but I will be back here again tomorrow to lose both.
